Feeling sick!

It's been two years since I have found out about this cancer. I am still taking chemotherapy and it is making feel like throwing up again. I remember the first time it made me feel like throwing up when I first started taking chemo it did't really make me fell that way but when I had that two or three month break and then started up again for the once a month for three months until I couldn't take it no more because that is when I started to throw up. And I mean I'm surprised I didn't lose weight because I was throwing up all day long it seemed like. Well here we go again, going down this fighting for my life road again, and I'll tell you it's not well. I mean I hate it. I really shouldn't use that word hate but that's exactly how I feel about it. It's really harder than it has ever been before because the way chemotherapy has damaged my digestive track and all the way up to my throat it doesn't flow correctly in either direction in or out and it is just really "Ruff". I also feel so week at times to the point of not wanting to get out of bed. But I know that if I was to stay in bed it would be bad for me. I would end up getting worse, and also it would be an act of giving up I feel. But not me! No not ever, I plan on getting as much time with my kids as I possibly can. Their names are Kekoa who is 20, Kainoa who is 18, Kanani who is 17 and Cynthia Lynn who is 14. Right now Kanani is in hawaii with her aunty debbie (my sister) and the boys are over here in louisiana with me. I came over  to be able to get to know my youngest Cynthia. Whom I've been out of her life for 7 years and out of the others for about the same but been able to see them off and on because we lived in the same state at the time. So my two boys came over a little later after I did, just to be with me, which I feel is a great way to show me they love me. I just love my kids so much and it will take me dying to be seperated from them. Well until next time this is Marti Lynn Beaudion cancer fighter/survivor!