In Diapers All Day!

Last night I went to bed with the stinky burps, most likley due to the chemotherapy I did yesterday. Sometimes when I do chemotherapy I get really nauseated and I'm pretty positive it's from the bial build up that i get from the chemo that also cause extream heartburns. Any way the bial build up is unbelievably building up also due to my extream consitpation from all of the monrphine I have to take to keep the pain and withdralls away. The stinky burps were at thier all time worse than ever before in my life and I decided to take the Lactulose im perscribed for my constipation because it work like draino for the body, it flushes everything immediatly but not so immediatly last night. About four am this morning the bial was leaking upward and outward of my mouth with some of it going into my lungs causeing me to jump straight up out of bed gagging and coughing terribly. I then drank some more Lactulose to help flush myself even more and then went back to sleep. Two hours later I was going through the same thing with the bial seeping up and outward. So I repeated the Lactulose one more time. It was about six am by now and I decided to get up and rock my body back and forth to help unblock my stomache hoping the Lactulose would blast everything through mainly the bial in my stomache. Near to half an hour later it started to work so I was sitting on my porta potty in my room and I was getting it out. I tried to rest again due to the sleep I lost last night and all through the morning, but then I had an accident all in my pajamas and bed. I jump out of the bed as if it was on fire and ran to the shower, rinsed of with pajamas on and all. I was in terrible pain due to my cancer stricken laft hip bone all the quick movement I guess so I was wanting to take my time but I could not stand the cold water that was coming out of the shower due to the propane running out on the poloma ( a poloma is a portable water heater that runs off of propane).  Here in hawaii alot of places do not have city water so we have water catchments so thats why we use polama. Any way I was have a terrible morning with me jumping up every three minutes to use the bathroom and my body being so exhausted that I would dose off every now and then with another accident in my freshly changed clothes. Finally I decided to barrow my handicap adult daughters, adult pampers. I really get depressed during moments like these, it lets me know how sick I really am and that it is all a tiresome ordeal. I sometimes just sit and think of how beautiful I used to be before the cancer attacked me and took away my hair and shortened my left leg after my left hip got eatened by the cancer. I'm in a wheelchair sue to that and when I used to be beautiful I loved to where high heels you could say I was high maintenance I like to dress up and make pretty. Some times I wonder if I got it all taken away because of the part-time vanity I was displaying in my life. What ever the reason I feel that I shouldn't be going through all this at the age of 40 let alone at the age of 38 when I was first diagnosed. Early detection is what it all comes down to. Pass that revelation on to everyone and maybe just maybe we can save a few from the pain, constipation, diapers and shame. Until next time stay healthy!

Chemotherapy today!

Chemotherapy today

Today I had to get up warly to catch the taxi to my doctor appointment to sit there from 7:am-4:30pm. I was hooked up to that medicine pump getting cisplastim pump into through my PIC ( two plastic tubes that hangs out of my artery two inches away from my heart.). I brought my lap top with me today thinking that I was going to get bored sitting there for all those hours but I fell asleep most of the time, I guess it was the benadral i guess thats how you spell it. But there I was sittting in the lazy boy like medical lounger chair sleeping with my head hung over and drool soaking my shirt. The nurses are great about  not pestering you and waking you up, they pretty much understand us cancer patients that we are usually extreamly fatigue and dont want to be woken up. The lab work results is one of the first things I like to hear about when I et there to my appointment, mostly I want to hear about the CA-125 ( It's the count of cancer cells that my body has in it. ). The nurse told me today that a normal persons CA=125 count is 0-30 and that my CA-125 count today was 15. Isn't that great news?! Yes, yes it is! Because my CA-125 count when I first started my treatment back up again here on the Big Island was 1285. Isn't that a mind blower? From 1285 to 15! I'll take that number any day over the previous one! Well I'm done for tonight time to sleep, the chemo is kicking my butt.
                                              
                                                             Goodnight and God bless! until nest post!

Another apointment !

Today I have another appointment. It has lately been appointment after appointment. Since I've been seeing Dr. Lim at The Oncology Center of Hawaii at Hilo I've been so sick that I need to be seen just about every week, three days out of the week. Usually ther appointments consist of Pic care, lab work, chemotherapy, xgieva shots (bone hardener) and nupugen shots (white blood cell booster). It's seems like I dont have time to rest between the appointments being so frequent and the taxi rides taking me to and from the appointments taking up so much of my time also with me having to get up early to leave early and sitting around the doctors office waiting to be picked up. I wish the nurses would be a little more cosiderate that I'm not getting enough rest with the way their making my appointments. Their not combining the reasons into one or two days they got me going seperate days for each reason. I know they know that I'm fatigue like hell because they see me sleeping in the lobby waiting to be called and when I'm asked I don't hold back telling them how I feel. And It's not just those reasons I'm on the road due to my health I also have to go to the pharmacy to get my pain meds.
    I guess I'm just tired, it's been three years now that I've been fighting this cancer and it's been without a good enough break. The first tome I got treatment on oahu at the kapiolani women and childrens Hospital I had a three mounth break when it was finished, the second time when it was at the Natchitoches Cancer Center in Natchitoches Louisiana with Dr. Dhawan that lasted 11 months until I moved back home to the Big Island of Hawaii. I tried to get my medical records faxed over to Dr. Lim but the Natchitoches Cancer Center took to long at which during the wait of four months my cancer started to get worse and was making tumors at the bottom of my spine. By the time I started treatment at home I was really sick and needed the strong stuff. My hair fell out again for the third time but it wasn't as bad as the first time but worser than the second time because I guess I'm tired of looking so ugly. Hair really does make a difference in how good a person looks. I'm tired of looking this way I wish I had hair, eye lashes and eyebrows, I can go without the rest of the body hair. I think that's the only upside to chemotherapy.
      I guess I'm just going through what every cancer patient who decides to fight it has to go through. But I tell you what, the great thing about all this is that I get to have an extention on my life. Without treatment I would've died sooner than with. And the way I look at the whole experience is I got an invitation from God to get to know Him and also a chance to get reaquainted with my Kids and family here on the Big Island. No not everyday is a gloomy day! I just wish the nurses would realize I need more down time. At least enough to feel more rested.
   Until next time may God Bless you with good health and a beautiful llife!
    

still sick

I'm doing chemotherapy agian for the third time. It's 2012 I did't think I'de be doing this much chemo
or radiation for that matter. Iv'e been really sick after I got back home to hawaii. 4 months after I got home I finally got my records from my doctors office in louisiana. By the time I got them I had gotton really sick and started to form a tumor at the bottom of my spine which caused me sever pain and caused me to be heavily medicated on liquide morphine. My doctors got it to shrink down now and the pain is at a level 5 everyday now. I guess the biggest part about being sick is that its not only the sickness from the therapy but also the crippled part due to the cancer eating up my hip bone. I tried to start a fundraiser but aint anybody making any donations so Im ready to give up on ever having a chance of walking normal again cause my medical insurance wont cover that kind of surgery that it takes to make me walk again. Oh well I guess people who collect ssdi when they become disabled cant get better! Until the next time may God keep you healthy and safe from harm!
  may God Bless You All!