In Diapers All Day!

Last night I went to bed with the stinky burps, most likley due to the chemotherapy I did yesterday. Sometimes when I do chemotherapy I get really nauseated and I'm pretty positive it's from the bial build up that i get from the chemo that also cause extream heartburns. Any way the bial build up is unbelievably building up also due to my extream consitpation from all of the monrphine I have to take to keep the pain and withdralls away. The stinky burps were at thier all time worse than ever before in my life and I decided to take the Lactulose im perscribed for my constipation because it work like draino for the body, it flushes everything immediatly but not so immediatly last night. About four am this morning the bial was leaking upward and outward of my mouth with some of it going into my lungs causeing me to jump straight up out of bed gagging and coughing terribly. I then drank some more Lactulose to help flush myself even more and then went back to sleep. Two hours later I was going through the same thing with the bial seeping up and outward. So I repeated the Lactulose one more time. It was about six am by now and I decided to get up and rock my body back and forth to help unblock my stomache hoping the Lactulose would blast everything through mainly the bial in my stomache. Near to half an hour later it started to work so I was sitting on my porta potty in my room and I was getting it out. I tried to rest again due to the sleep I lost last night and all through the morning, but then I had an accident all in my pajamas and bed. I jump out of the bed as if it was on fire and ran to the shower, rinsed of with pajamas on and all. I was in terrible pain due to my cancer stricken laft hip bone all the quick movement I guess so I was wanting to take my time but I could not stand the cold water that was coming out of the shower due to the propane running out on the poloma ( a poloma is a portable water heater that runs off of propane).  Here in hawaii alot of places do not have city water so we have water catchments so thats why we use polama. Any way I was have a terrible morning with me jumping up every three minutes to use the bathroom and my body being so exhausted that I would dose off every now and then with another accident in my freshly changed clothes. Finally I decided to barrow my handicap adult daughters, adult pampers. I really get depressed during moments like these, it lets me know how sick I really am and that it is all a tiresome ordeal. I sometimes just sit and think of how beautiful I used to be before the cancer attacked me and took away my hair and shortened my left leg after my left hip got eatened by the cancer. I'm in a wheelchair sue to that and when I used to be beautiful I loved to where high heels you could say I was high maintenance I like to dress up and make pretty. Some times I wonder if I got it all taken away because of the part-time vanity I was displaying in my life. What ever the reason I feel that I shouldn't be going through all this at the age of 40 let alone at the age of 38 when I was first diagnosed. Early detection is what it all comes down to. Pass that revelation on to everyone and maybe just maybe we can save a few from the pain, constipation, diapers and shame. Until next time stay healthy!